STEVEN PINKER framing statement

Lucas deMey

12/6/17

Emerson

Bad academic paper

 

The paper i chose to analyze is titled “Impact Of Biodiversity Loss on Ocean Ecosystems”. The reason i chose this paper to analyze was that its is immensely complicated with high level words on a difficult subject and i wanted to see how well the author would explain this to someone with little to no background on the topic. The reason I think this is a bad writing is that it’s hard to understand at some points the sentences are just so jam packed with information it’s hard to determine what the author is getting at its almost like their just throwing information back into your face. Take this quote for example “These regional biodiversity losses impaired at least three critical ecosystem services (Fig. 2D): number of viable (non collapsed) fisheries (–33%); provision of nursery habitats such as oyster reefs, seagrass beds, and wetlands (–69%); and filtering and detoxification services provided by suspension feeders, submerged vegetation, and wetlands (–63%). Loss of filtering services probably contributed to declining water quality (18) and the increasing occurrence of harmful algal blooms, fish kills, shellfish and beach closures, and oxygen depletion (Fig. 2E). Increasing coastal flooding events (Fig. 2E) are linked to sea level rise but were probably accelerated by historical losses of floodplains and erosion control provided by coastal wetlands, reefs, and submerged vegetation (7).”. It’s almost as if there was no substance to that passage just straight information you have no idea what the author is getting to and what there point is making this almost useless writing.

Another reason i didn’t like this paper was that they didn’t simplify or explain anything to the average everyday person the acted like everyone on earth is marine biologist and would completely understand that passage with ease that’s why i think this academic writer stinks.

 

LINK : http://science.sciencemag.org/content/314/5800/787.full

framing statement writing for another class

Lucas deMey

9/4/17

Emerson

What english 110 has taught me

 

Through my english one class i’ve learned alot about my writing style and different writing techniques i believe i have effectively transferred the things i’ve learned into all of my other classes i find this especially evident in my paper about carbon taxes for my environmental class the first thing i’ve learned about my writing is that i have knack for word choice it’s one of the strongest points of my writing and my foundation to any strong argument i’ve realized word choice can elevate a claim just as much as anything else can you can see evidence in this excerpt of my paper “A plethora of governments around the world have started to implement carbon taxes to cut down on emissions because if there’s one thing big business notices to its a dent in their profits.”. This example helps me show my prowess with word choice and throughout the essay you can definitely tell that my skill makes my argument more robust throughout the the paper. One struggle that i had in english 110 was surface errors my writing was plagued with surface errors. Run on sentences and missing punctuation ran rampant through my essays luckily practice and the teaching i’ve been provided have rounded that rough spot in my writing and now with the revision techniques Along with peer review  i’ve learned ive my writing has become way more refined than it was when i first got here. I think this has really helped me as a writer and student here at une . Another thing i’ve learned in class is the importance of a strong claim sentence at the beginning of each paragraph because without that all of the evidence and persuasive writing will be for not because the reader won’t be convinced that you’re passionate about this topic and by extension they too will be less enthralled by your writing. One exercise remember that actually helped me while writing this paper was the activity in which we wrote down our claims on index cards and after that went and found evidence in our texts to support each claim i did this while working on my environmental paper sadly the index cards were lost in the great folder clean out of november 7th or else pictures of these index cards would be included. I believe this exercise really improved my writing and made sure i focused exceedingly on my claims to make sure they were substantial enough to get my point across to the reader and keep them interested in what they’re reading. So in conclussion of learned so much about writing in english 110 and i plan to use every bit of this newly gained knowledge towards all my future writing.

 

Lucas demey

10/25/17

Vanwee

Mitigation of climate change

Carbon… With a price

 

In Today’s world if you want to motivate people to change you need to start taking dollars out of people’s pockets. A plethora of governments around the world have started to implement carbon taxes to cut down on emissions because if there’s one thing big business notices to its a dent in their profits. The carbon tax is strategy of mitigation on climate change this strategy is being implemented around the world in places such as japan south korea and india. all of these countries are heavily industrialized and for the most part have industrial based economies which rely on producing goods for the global market in factories which for the most part are powered by fossil fuels making them perfect candidate for this carbon tax to make a huge impact and hopefully leading the rest of the world by example.

 

The carbon price was first introduced in australia in australia  where it was effective for multiple years cutting the countries carbon emissions by almost ⅛ in a 3 year period  before being eliminated by a conservative dominated government in 2014 as mentioned by david suzuki in his article called “carbon tax or cap and trade”. Piggy backing off of australia japan ratified a carbon tax in 2012 which still stands today. It costs 20.85 dollars for every tonne of carbon released into the atmosphere this seems insignificant for businesses, but in the end when you realize how much coal and oil they burn the numbers add up enough to the point that it endangers their profit margin. Next on the list south korea this version of the tax is a little different in the fact that the government set limits on carbon emissions,then charges businesses for every excess tonne that goes over their limit. This style of carbon tax is a little risky because companies can take advantage of this system with a loophole that i will cover later. Clearly the carbon tax has a bit of history to it.

 

The carbon tax is form of mitigation for climate change meaning that it will slow the progress but cant fix the problem all by it self. The way carbon tax will slow the progress of climate change is fairly self explanatory. Businesses are now forced by pressure on their precious profit margins to cut emissions, how they do this can be one of three major methods the first one being using alternative sources of energy such as solar or wind power to lower the emissions significantly. The second option the least popular one is to cut production this isn’t a great idea economically because even though they don’t pay the tax their losing a share of their market because they won’t be keeping up with demand. The third concept is a loophole allowing companies to buy other companies unused emissions if their country uses a “cap and trade system like south koreans. Finally the last system, this system is kind of a cop out meaning that it doesn’t actually lower emissions it involves out sourcing most of your production to a company with no carbon tax like china or vietnam in order to “hide your emissions” and avoid taxes on the forbidden glasses. Furthermore the carbon offers simple but effective methods to meet its quotas.

Despite the good nature of the carbon tax it has its critics. Some say the tax will inhibit growth in an economic standpoint not allowing small organizations the freedoms they need to compete with the larger companies who can afford to pay the carbon tax.Others say that the carbon tax will just slow the emissions it won’t actually cause a drop just due to the taxes nature, and we are beyond the point where slowing emissions is a viable option that we need and immediate and sudden drop in emissions for their to be a difference. Another shot against this tax is that countries with the cap and trade system aren’t really encouraging the development of good clean energy because businesses can just buy unused carbon reserves from other businesses for cheaper than the tax with no penalty. So clearly the carbon tax has a long way to go before it pleases all of its critics.

 

The carbon tax is a viable and productive way to lower emissions this policy can work at every level but will work best on an international level because if everybody limits there emissions it can buy us valuable time in order to continue important research on clean forms of energy such as wind or power. This policy is feasible because the technology is ready and available all it needs is the enforcement of the government and it can be implemented. Cutting emissions through use of different more efficient technologies is nothing new and the newer cutting edge technology is becoming more and more available each and everyday making it no excuse about availability. The only arguments against the tax are all about possibly harm to the economy but people forget to realize that if we spend time to make clean energy cheaper and more available. It will negate the carbon tax and our goal of cutting emissions will be made any way so the tax had clearly served its purpose in the end the climate tax is certainly not a one trick pony !

 

So in the end the carbon tax is not a final solution but its a way to give ourselves a little extra time to continue our research and find the true solution to our problem. But until that day we must continue to so whatever we can to get by and try and help our planet. if that means spending a few extra dollars a month on light bulbs and cooking oil than i know i and a ton of other people would also be willing to in order to ensure we leave the earth a better place then where we found it, and make it a place for our kids and our kids kids to enjoy for as long as they live. Just this one policy has the chance to make a huge impact on the life of people everywhere and clearly we need to act now

 

Bad Academic Writing

Lucas deMey

12/6/17

Emerson

Bad academic paper

 

The paper i chose to analyze is titled “Impact Of Biodiversity Loss on Ocean Ecosystems”. The reason i chose this paper to analyze was that its is immensely complicated with high level words on a difficult subject and i wanted to see how well the author would explain this to someone with little to no background on the topic. The reason I think this is a bad writing is that it’s hard to understand at some points the sentences are just so jam packed with information it’s hard to determine what the author is getting at its almost like their just throwing information back into your face. Take this quote for example “These regional biodiversity losses impaired at least three critical ecosystem services (Fig. 2D): number of viable (non collapsed) fisheries (–33%); provision of nursery habitats such as oyster reefs, seagrass beds, and wetlands (–69%); and filtering and detoxification services provided by suspension feeders, submerged vegetation, and wetlands (–63%). Loss of filtering services probably contributed to declining water quality (18) and the increasing occurrence of harmful algal blooms, fish kills, shellfish and beach closures, and oxygen depletion (Fig. 2E). Increasing coastal flooding events (Fig. 2E) are linked to sea level rise but were probably accelerated by historical losses of floodplains and erosion control provided by coastal wetlands, reefs, and submerged vegetation (7).”. It’s almost as if there was no substance to that passage just straight information you have no idea what the author is getting to and what there point is making this almost useless writing.

Another reason i didn’t like this paper was that they didn’t simplify or explain anything to the average everyday person the acted like everyone on earth is marine biologist and would completely understand that passage with ease that’s why i think this academic writer stinks.

 

LINK : http://science.sciencemag.org/content/314/5800/787.full

Learning Outcomes

Lucas deMey

12/2/17

Emerson

Framing prompt

 

Learning outcome 1

  1. My ability to revise has skyrocketed this year i’ve really been improve my writing locally by reading my papers aloud so i can hear any awkward phrases and catch any grammatical mistakes as well. This has really helped me because all of the surface errors in my papers was really bringing down my grades and now that i catch them i can really get the grades i want on my paper .Another way i locally edit is by rereading all of the quotes in the my paper to make sure they are all cited properly.  while when i revise globally i tend to focus more on making sure all of my evidence matches up with my claim sentences. Another thing i do when i globally edit is rereading my sources to see if there’s any more quotes i could be using to better my argument. All of this considered i believe my revision skill has become far greater in the last few weeks.

Learning outcome 2

  1. I believe that my use of quotes has become exponentially better since highschool i used to think quotes were just something to use to add length to a paper this i’ve come to know is entirely not true i’ve learned that the use of quotes can make or break a paper take this except from my paper about the internet “ “But when we’re out in public checking in on our phones, we are creating new private spaces in the public arena.”(leonard 2) By using our devices in public, we are shutting ourselves off from the world and disconnecting from all around us. Diminishing our social experience and dampening our view of the world, these “private arenas” cut us off from other humans and being the social animals that we are it could be detrimental to us finding our purpose in life as it usually involves being a part of something larger than just ourselves.”. As you can see i built my argument around that quote to make sure that my claim was supported by evidence. Clearly i’ve learned alot about using quotes to my advantage.

 

Learning Outcome 5 and 6

I’ve learned that using the MLA guidelines to locally edit my paper was the easiest most effective way to locally revise my paper. MLA gives me a nice checklist that i can make my way down to make sure that my paper is absolutely perfect in order to get the best grade. That’s where this checklist becomes important because it allows me to get rid of all of the surface errors in my paper.Creating flow and smoothness in my writing clearly making the writing even better by making it look more appealing to the reader.

 

4.

Learning Outcome 4

My experience with peer review this semester has been incredibly positive . When others read my paper i feel as though they catch more mistakes because its their first seeing the paper .They aren’t blind to the errors the way i can be because of how many times i’ve read the paper. Whilst reviewing my peers papers i try to focus mostly on global revision, because most of the local revision errors will be ironed out later . so i try to focus on giving advice on evidence and thesis statements rather than fixing punctuation and grammar. In my own personal experience with peer review i’ve realized that most of the things people needed help with was finding points they can elaborate on, in order to reach the page requirement whilst still having minimal fluff in the paper. That’s where i was most influential because i was able to find pieces of evidence that the writer could explain better or topics that the writer could add in order to strengthen their argument and making their paper more persuasive . Clearly peer review was an amazing and influential part of my english 110 experience.

 

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