The teacher uses understanding of individual differences and diverse cultures and communities to ensure inclusive learning environments that allow each learner to reach his/her full potential.
standard 1
The teacher understands how students learn and develop, recognizing that patterns of learning and development vary individually within and across the cognitive, linguistic, social, emotional, and physical areas, and designs and implements developmentally appropriate and challenging learning experiences.
STEVEN PINKER framing statement
Lucas deMey
12/6/17
Emerson
Bad academic paper
The paper i chose to analyze is titled “Impact Of Biodiversity Loss on Ocean Ecosystems”. The reason i chose this paper to analyze was that its is immensely complicated with high level words on a difficult subject and i wanted to see how well the author would explain this to someone with little to no background on the topic. The reason I think this is a bad writing is that it’s hard to understand at some points the sentences are just so jam packed with information it’s hard to determine what the author is getting at its almost like their just throwing information back into your face. Take this quote for example “These regional biodiversity losses impaired at least three critical ecosystem services (Fig. 2D): number of viable (non collapsed) fisheries (–33%); provision of nursery habitats such as oyster reefs, seagrass beds, and wetlands (–69%); and filtering and detoxification services provided by suspension feeders, submerged vegetation, and wetlands (–63%). Loss of filtering services probably contributed to declining water quality (18) and the increasing occurrence of harmful algal blooms, fish kills, shellfish and beach closures, and oxygen depletion (Fig. 2E). Increasing coastal flooding events (Fig. 2E) are linked to sea level rise but were probably accelerated by historical losses of floodplains and erosion control provided by coastal wetlands, reefs, and submerged vegetation (7).”. It’s almost as if there was no substance to that passage just straight information you have no idea what the author is getting to and what there point is making this almost useless writing.
Another reason i didn’t like this paper was that they didn’t simplify or explain anything to the average everyday person the acted like everyone on earth is marine biologist and would completely understand that passage with ease that’s why i think this academic writer stinks.
LINK : http://science.sciencemag.org/content/314/5800/787.full
framing statement writing for another class
Lucas deMey
9/4/17
Emerson
What english 110 has taught me
Through my english one class i’ve learned alot about my writing style and different writing techniques i believe i have effectively transferred the things i’ve learned into all of my other classes i find this especially evident in my paper about carbon taxes for my environmental class the first thing i’ve learned about my writing is that i have knack for word choice it’s one of the strongest points of my writing and my foundation to any strong argument i’ve realized word choice can elevate a claim just as much as anything else can you can see evidence in this excerpt of my paper “A plethora of governments around the world have started to implement carbon taxes to cut down on emissions because if there’s one thing big business notices to its a dent in their profits.”. This example helps me show my prowess with word choice and throughout the essay you can definitely tell that my skill makes my argument more robust throughout the the paper. One struggle that i had in english 110 was surface errors my writing was plagued with surface errors. Run on sentences and missing punctuation ran rampant through my essays luckily practice and the teaching i’ve been provided have rounded that rough spot in my writing and now with the revision techniques Along with peer review i’ve learned ive my writing has become way more refined than it was when i first got here. I think this has really helped me as a writer and student here at une . Another thing i’ve learned in class is the importance of a strong claim sentence at the beginning of each paragraph because without that all of the evidence and persuasive writing will be for not because the reader won’t be convinced that you’re passionate about this topic and by extension they too will be less enthralled by your writing. One exercise remember that actually helped me while writing this paper was the activity in which we wrote down our claims on index cards and after that went and found evidence in our texts to support each claim i did this while working on my environmental paper sadly the index cards were lost in the great folder clean out of november 7th or else pictures of these index cards would be included. I believe this exercise really improved my writing and made sure i focused exceedingly on my claims to make sure they were substantial enough to get my point across to the reader and keep them interested in what they’re reading. So in conclussion of learned so much about writing in english 110 and i plan to use every bit of this newly gained knowledge towards all my future writing.
Lucas demey
10/25/17
Vanwee
Mitigation of climate change
Carbon… With a price
In Today’s world if you want to motivate people to change you need to start taking dollars out of people’s pockets. A plethora of governments around the world have started to implement carbon taxes to cut down on emissions because if there’s one thing big business notices to its a dent in their profits. The carbon tax is strategy of mitigation on climate change this strategy is being implemented around the world in places such as japan south korea and india. all of these countries are heavily industrialized and for the most part have industrial based economies which rely on producing goods for the global market in factories which for the most part are powered by fossil fuels making them perfect candidate for this carbon tax to make a huge impact and hopefully leading the rest of the world by example.
The carbon price was first introduced in australia in australia where it was effective for multiple years cutting the countries carbon emissions by almost ⅛ in a 3 year period before being eliminated by a conservative dominated government in 2014 as mentioned by david suzuki in his article called “carbon tax or cap and trade”. Piggy backing off of australia japan ratified a carbon tax in 2012 which still stands today. It costs 20.85 dollars for every tonne of carbon released into the atmosphere this seems insignificant for businesses, but in the end when you realize how much coal and oil they burn the numbers add up enough to the point that it endangers their profit margin. Next on the list south korea this version of the tax is a little different in the fact that the government set limits on carbon emissions,then charges businesses for every excess tonne that goes over their limit. This style of carbon tax is a little risky because companies can take advantage of this system with a loophole that i will cover later. Clearly the carbon tax has a bit of history to it.
The carbon tax is form of mitigation for climate change meaning that it will slow the progress but cant fix the problem all by it self. The way carbon tax will slow the progress of climate change is fairly self explanatory. Businesses are now forced by pressure on their precious profit margins to cut emissions, how they do this can be one of three major methods the first one being using alternative sources of energy such as solar or wind power to lower the emissions significantly. The second option the least popular one is to cut production this isn’t a great idea economically because even though they don’t pay the tax their losing a share of their market because they won’t be keeping up with demand. The third concept is a loophole allowing companies to buy other companies unused emissions if their country uses a “cap and trade system like south koreans. Finally the last system, this system is kind of a cop out meaning that it doesn’t actually lower emissions it involves out sourcing most of your production to a company with no carbon tax like china or vietnam in order to “hide your emissions” and avoid taxes on the forbidden glasses. Furthermore the carbon offers simple but effective methods to meet its quotas.
Despite the good nature of the carbon tax it has its critics. Some say the tax will inhibit growth in an economic standpoint not allowing small organizations the freedoms they need to compete with the larger companies who can afford to pay the carbon tax.Others say that the carbon tax will just slow the emissions it won’t actually cause a drop just due to the taxes nature, and we are beyond the point where slowing emissions is a viable option that we need and immediate and sudden drop in emissions for their to be a difference. Another shot against this tax is that countries with the cap and trade system aren’t really encouraging the development of good clean energy because businesses can just buy unused carbon reserves from other businesses for cheaper than the tax with no penalty. So clearly the carbon tax has a long way to go before it pleases all of its critics.
The carbon tax is a viable and productive way to lower emissions this policy can work at every level but will work best on an international level because if everybody limits there emissions it can buy us valuable time in order to continue important research on clean forms of energy such as wind or power. This policy is feasible because the technology is ready and available all it needs is the enforcement of the government and it can be implemented. Cutting emissions through use of different more efficient technologies is nothing new and the newer cutting edge technology is becoming more and more available each and everyday making it no excuse about availability. The only arguments against the tax are all about possibly harm to the economy but people forget to realize that if we spend time to make clean energy cheaper and more available. It will negate the carbon tax and our goal of cutting emissions will be made any way so the tax had clearly served its purpose in the end the climate tax is certainly not a one trick pony !
So in the end the carbon tax is not a final solution but its a way to give ourselves a little extra time to continue our research and find the true solution to our problem. But until that day we must continue to so whatever we can to get by and try and help our planet. if that means spending a few extra dollars a month on light bulbs and cooking oil than i know i and a ton of other people would also be willing to in order to ensure we leave the earth a better place then where we found it, and make it a place for our kids and our kids kids to enjoy for as long as they live. Just this one policy has the chance to make a huge impact on the life of people everywhere and clearly we need to act now
Bad Academic Writing
Lucas deMey
12/6/17
Emerson
Bad academic paper
The paper i chose to analyze is titled “Impact Of Biodiversity Loss on Ocean Ecosystems”. The reason i chose this paper to analyze was that its is immensely complicated with high level words on a difficult subject and i wanted to see how well the author would explain this to someone with little to no background on the topic. The reason I think this is a bad writing is that it’s hard to understand at some points the sentences are just so jam packed with information it’s hard to determine what the author is getting at its almost like their just throwing information back into your face. Take this quote for example “These regional biodiversity losses impaired at least three critical ecosystem services (Fig. 2D): number of viable (non collapsed) fisheries (–33%); provision of nursery habitats such as oyster reefs, seagrass beds, and wetlands (–69%); and filtering and detoxification services provided by suspension feeders, submerged vegetation, and wetlands (–63%). Loss of filtering services probably contributed to declining water quality (18) and the increasing occurrence of harmful algal blooms, fish kills, shellfish and beach closures, and oxygen depletion (Fig. 2E). Increasing coastal flooding events (Fig. 2E) are linked to sea level rise but were probably accelerated by historical losses of floodplains and erosion control provided by coastal wetlands, reefs, and submerged vegetation (7).”. It’s almost as if there was no substance to that passage just straight information you have no idea what the author is getting to and what there point is making this almost useless writing.
Another reason i didn’t like this paper was that they didn’t simplify or explain anything to the average everyday person the acted like everyone on earth is marine biologist and would completely understand that passage with ease that’s why i think this academic writer stinks.
LINK : http://science.sciencemag.org/content/314/5800/787.full
Learning Outcomes
Lucas deMey
12/2/17
Emerson
Framing prompt
Learning outcome 1
- My ability to revise has skyrocketed this year i’ve really been improve my writing locally by reading my papers aloud so i can hear any awkward phrases and catch any grammatical mistakes as well. This has really helped me because all of the surface errors in my papers was really bringing down my grades and now that i catch them i can really get the grades i want on my paper .Another way i locally edit is by rereading all of the quotes in the my paper to make sure they are all cited properly. while when i revise globally i tend to focus more on making sure all of my evidence matches up with my claim sentences. Another thing i do when i globally edit is rereading my sources to see if there’s any more quotes i could be using to better my argument. All of this considered i believe my revision skill has become far greater in the last few weeks.
Learning outcome 2
- I believe that my use of quotes has become exponentially better since highschool i used to think quotes were just something to use to add length to a paper this i’ve come to know is entirely not true i’ve learned that the use of quotes can make or break a paper take this except from my paper about the internet “ “But when we’re out in public checking in on our phones, we are creating new private spaces in the public arena.”(leonard 2) By using our devices in public, we are shutting ourselves off from the world and disconnecting from all around us. Diminishing our social experience and dampening our view of the world, these “private arenas” cut us off from other humans and being the social animals that we are it could be detrimental to us finding our purpose in life as it usually involves being a part of something larger than just ourselves.”. As you can see i built my argument around that quote to make sure that my claim was supported by evidence. Clearly i’ve learned alot about using quotes to my advantage.
Learning Outcome 5 and 6
I’ve learned that using the MLA guidelines to locally edit my paper was the easiest most effective way to locally revise my paper. MLA gives me a nice checklist that i can make my way down to make sure that my paper is absolutely perfect in order to get the best grade. That’s where this checklist becomes important because it allows me to get rid of all of the surface errors in my paper.Creating flow and smoothness in my writing clearly making the writing even better by making it look more appealing to the reader.
4.
Learning Outcome 4
My experience with peer review this semester has been incredibly positive . When others read my paper i feel as though they catch more mistakes because its their first seeing the paper .They aren’t blind to the errors the way i can be because of how many times i’ve read the paper. Whilst reviewing my peers papers i try to focus mostly on global revision, because most of the local revision errors will be ironed out later . so i try to focus on giving advice on evidence and thesis statements rather than fixing punctuation and grammar. In my own personal experience with peer review i’ve realized that most of the things people needed help with was finding points they can elaborate on, in order to reach the page requirement whilst still having minimal fluff in the paper. That’s where i was most influential because i was able to find pieces of evidence that the writer could explain better or topics that the writer could add in order to strengthen their argument and making their paper more persuasive . Clearly peer review was an amazing and influential part of my english 110 experience.
First draft of a significant writing project
Lucas deMey
Emerson
11/11/17
Internet paper
The internet is always a controversial topic especially when used for the reason of finding one’s purpose. The internet provides us with many benefits and services from education to shopping there are always drawbacks like addiction and false senses of purpose as well as the social drawbacks of the phone zombie. Using the internet to find purpose can be a dangerous thing for humanity, as it is ever-changing and constantly moving forward,leaving people and ideas behind, so at the beginning of the day one might be at the top of the world he can be pushed back to the bottom of the pile all of his progress and work will go with him leaving him a shell of his former self.
One of the dangers of an internet based life is the sheer amount of time it takes to get anything done. Modes of communication like email and Im take twice as long as a phone call, due to time spent proofreading, spell checking and correcting make the process long and sometimes pain staking. Sam Anderson mentions in his essay in “Defense of Distraction” where he talks all about the numerous and constant distractions in our lives. Anderson interviews a man named David Meyer, an expert on multitasking, who claimed that meyer made the following claim about the internet.“because of the way the Internet works, once you become visible, you’re approached from left and right by people wanting to have interactions in ways that are extremely time-consuming. I could spend my whole day, my whole night, just answering emails” (Anderson #). All of this time he uses answering emails and dealing with internet in general could be spent pursuing his real goal with research. But instead he must spend a lot of time frittering and fiddling with the internet just so people will even consider looking at his work. Another danger of the internet involved finding one’s purpose is the constant distractions. Whether its pop-ads, games, or social media notifications it’s really hard to stay on task with all of the endless possibilities the internet has to offer. “It seems unrealistic,” Anderson states “to expect people to spend all day clicking reward bars—searching the web, scanning the relevant blogs, checking email to see if a coworker has updated a project—and then just leave those distractions behind” (Anderson #). People are losing focus on the importance of their careers or families all for the sake of a little amusement. This shows that the internet can be harmful especially because our jobs give us the means financially to pursue our purpose. If we are unemployed due to this constant distraction we may very well lose those means and be unable to attain and fulfill our purpose, leaving us with a sad hollow existence thanks to the endless flood of distraction that is our internet.
Another destructive property of the internet is something called the bandwagon effect,which is defined as “A psychological theory where individuals will do something primarily because other individuals are doing it, regardless of their own beliefs” (dictionary.com). This bandwagon effect is caused by the ease of sharing that is created by the internet through social media. Bill Wasik the author of “my crowd experiment : The mob project” explores the power of the bandwagon effect through experiments called flash mobs which in the end became an inadvertent fad. Wasik talks about a fear of being left behind or becoming irrelevant as a cause for this so called bandwagon effect. This effect is may very well be the death of individuality which is scary for a species that thrives and grows because of our ability to think for ourselves. Being that the internet is filled with so many people throwing their opinions around, sometimes it’s easier to just agree with the majority rather than thinking for ourselves. This is one of the primary dangers another point that wasik makes is that boredom is what leads people to join these so called bandwagon ideas, because it’s so much easier to just follow some else on their path to their purpose. Instead we must forge ahead on our own paths towards finding meaning in our lives. Even if this bandwagon doesn’t satisfy one’s need for purpose, it can distract them from there hunt for purpose and state the boredom for the time being making them feel more complete.
Another dangerous application of the internet is a plague that’s sweeping our nation Known as the “phone zombie.” This is a phenomenon that is explored thoroughly by Andrew Leonard in his article “The Rise Of The Phone Zombie,” in which leonard talks of the havoc smartphones are having on our social interactions. Leonard gives the classic example of a couple on date, but instead of passionately staring into each other’s eyes, their gaze is locked onto the screens of their iphones. What type of world are we living where we people would rather look at their twitter feed than have a conversation with the one that they love?. For in my personal opinion that lLove is one of the greatest purposes we have on this planet and it would be damn hard to find it on one’s phone screen. Leonard mentions Dan hoyles one man Show “Each And Everything” where hoyle vents his frustration with modern technology And pulls this quote from the show “It’s one thing when we’re all alone in our homes, connecting online,” says Hoyle. “But when we’re out in public checking in on our phones, we are creating new private spaces in the public arena.”By using our devices in public, we are shielding ourselves off from the world and disconnecting from all around us. Diminishing our social experience and dampening our view of the world, these “private arenas” cut us off from other humans and being the social animals that we are it could be horribly detrimental to us finding our purpose in life as it usually involves being a part of something larger than just us. Clearly it must be hard to connect with others whilst in our own personal “cyber bubble”
At one point in the article leonard quotes Dan Hoyles one man Show “Each And Everything” where hoyle speaks of his frustration with our New found dependence on smartphones He gives this example. “I wonder how alienating it must be for the cashier to see a long line of people staring down at their phones, only raising their eyes when it is time to pay. And yet, on those rare and horrible occasions when I forget to bring my phone with me, I feel destitute, at the mercy of an unforgiving universe.” This quote shows our scary and growing dependence on the internet that we show symptoms of withdrawal if we go without it for even small periods of time. This internet addiction is extremely dangerous as it seems like no big deal people are just having fun or killing time. But the danger comes when we try to fulfil our selves by living vicariously through the internet like in role playing games. People play thousands and thousands of hours on games like world of warcraft or starcraft where the game started out as maybe a place for them to have fun or blow off some steam. But at some point they thought this virtual world had more to offer than the physical world we all live in, so they sink themselves into this world with orcs and elves because it’s easier to find meaning when there’s giant arrows pointing towards the path to success. So they pour hour after hour into these huge games with no ending. But what they don’t realize is that these hours could be spent attaining something different working towards a goal or purpose in the physical world that would fulfil to the point where the wouldn’t need this online escape from the real world. They could stay in the physical world and interact with real people and make real progress and rid themselves of their online addiction and become enthralled with the real world.
In our modern world that is essentially built around the internet, and it is easy to get lost online with all of the games and ads. But we must have to remember to pull our heads out of the clouds every now and then and hunt for our purpose in the physical world. Instead of staying content with the virtual rat race that a lot of people allow themselves to be content with. i’m not saying the internet’s bad, I’m saying that that we need to be careful how closely we identify ourselves with the internet because once we find ourselves getting too close to that virtual world,. Wwe will start losing our social skills that’s when were going to find ourselves in trouble because without the social interactions that we share are we really human or are we just organic button pressing machines. So we must stay true to the physical world and find our purpose within it and then we’ll finally be on the right track.
Final draft of significant writing project
Lucas deMey
Emerson
11/11/17
Internet paper We always hear we cannot trust everything and everyone on the internet. So it is no surprise that the controversy surrounding internet use only escalates when individuals seek to find their purpose in life while online. The internet is a wealth of information and provides people with many conveniences. However, of growing concern are the social drawbacks of the “phone zombie” and bandwagon ideas. Using the internet to forge relationships and find our purpose is proving itself to be hazardous to society. The internet evolves continuously, leaving people and their ideas behind. Relationships, professional progress, and fads can come and go in an instant. At the beginning of the day a man could be at the top of the world and within moments lose all of his hard work and progress- leaving him a shell of himself days or even hours prior. It is this constant evolution and growing dependence on the internet in all areas of life, that is changing the human species and many of our defining features.One of the dangers of an internet based life is the sheer amount of time it takes to get anything done. Modes of communication like email and IM take twice as long as a phone call, due to time spent proofreading, spell checking and correcting make the process long and sometimes pain staking. Sam Anderson mentions in his essay in “Defense of Distraction” where he talks all about the numerous and constant distractions in our lives. Anderson interviews a man named David Meyer, an expert on multitasking. Anderson claimed that Meyer made the following statement about the internet.“Because of the way the Internet works, once you become visible, you’re approached from left and right by people wanting to have interactions in ways that are extremely time-consuming. I could spend my whole day, my whole night, just answering emails.” (Anderson 3). All of this time he uses answering emails and dealing with internet in general could be spent pursuing his real goal with research. But instead he must spend a lot of time frittering and fiddling with the internet just so people will even consider looking at his work. Another danger of the internet involved with finding one’s purpose is the constant distractions. Whether it’s pop- ads, games, or social media notifications it’s really hard to stay on task with all of the endless possibilities the internet has to offer. Anderson states “It seems unrealistic, to expect people to spend all day clicking reward bars—searching the web, scanning the relevant blogs, checking email to see if a coworker has updated a project—and then just leave those distractions behind” (Anderson 5). People are losing focus on the importance of their careers or families all for the sake of a little amusement. This shows that the internet can be harmful especially because our jobs give us the means financially to pursue our purpose. If we are unemployed due to this constant distraction we may very well lose those means and be unable to attain and fulfill our purpose, leaving us with a sad hollow existence thanks to the endless flood of distraction courtesy of our internet.Another destructive property of the internet is something called the bandwagon effect,which is defined as “A psychological theory where individuals will do something primarily because other individuals are doing it, regardless of their own beliefs” (dictionary.com). This bandwagon effect is caused by the ease of sharing that is created by the internet through social media. Bill Wasik the author of “my crowd experiment : The mob project” explores the power of the bandwagon effect through experiments called flash mobs which in the end became an inadvertent fad. Wasik talks about a fear of being left behind or becoming irrelevant as a cause for this so called bandwagon effect. This effect may very well be the death of individuality which is scary for a species that thrives and grows because of our ability to think for ourselves. Being that the internet is filled with so many people throwing their opinions around, sometimes it’s easier to just agree with the majority rather than thinking for ourselves. This is one of the primary dangers another point that Wasik makes is that boredom is what leads people to join these so called bandwagon ideas, because it’s so much easier to just follow some else on their path to their purpose. Instead we must persist in forging ahead on our own paths towards finding meaning in our lives. Even if this bandwagon doesn’t satisfy one’s need for purpose, it can distract them from there hunt for purpose and state the boredom for the time being making them feel more complete.The internet can be accessed everywhere not just in front of a computer screen. A dangerous application of the internet is a plague that’s sweeping our nation known as the “phone zombie.” This is a phenomenon that is explored thoroughly by Andrew Leonard in his article “The Rise Of The Phone Zombie,” in which leonard talks of the havoc smartphones are having on our social interactions. Leonard gives the classic example of a couple on date, but instead of passionately staring into each other’s eyes, their gaze is locked onto the screens of their iphones. What type of world are we living in where we people would rather look at their twitter feed than have a conversation with the one that they love? In my personal opinion, connecting with the people around us and fostering relationships is one of the greatest purposes we have on this planet and it would be damn hard to find it, and build a sound foundation, on one’s phone screen. Leonard mentions Dan Hoyles one man Show “Each And Everything” where Hoyle vents his frustration with modern technology And pulls this quote from the show “It’s one thing when we’re all alone in our homes, connecting online,”(leonard 2) says Hoyle. “But when we’re out in public checking in on our phones, we are creating new private spaces in the public arena.”(leonard 2) By using our devices in public, we are shielding ourselves off from the world and disconnecting from all around us. Diminishing our social experience and dampening our view of the world, these “private arenas” cut us off from other humans and being the social animals that we are it could be detrimental to us finding our purpose in life as it usually involves being a part of something larger than just ourselves. Clearly it makes it more difficult to connect with others whilst in our own personal “cyber bubble”At one point in the article, Leonard quotes Dan Hoyles one man Show “Each And Everything” where Hoyle speaks of his frustration with our new found dependence on smartphones He gives this example. “I wonder how alienating it must be for the cashier to see a long line of people staring down at their phones, only raising their eyes when it is time to pay. And yet, on those rare and horrible occasions when I forget to bring my phone with me, I feel destitute, at the mercy of an unforgiving universe.”(Leonard 4) This quote shows our scary and growing dependence on the internet that we show symptoms of withdrawal if we go without it for even small periods of time. This internet addiction is extremely dangerous as it seems like no big deal people are just having fun or killing time. But the danger comes when we try to fulfill ourselves by living vicariously through the internet like in role playing games. People play thousands and thousands of hours on games like World of Warcraft or Starcraft where the game started out as maybe a place for them to have fun or blow off some steam. But at some point they thought this virtual world had more to offer than the physical world we all live in, so they sink themselves into this world with orcs and elves because it’s easier to find meaning when there’s giant arrows pointing towards the path to success. So they pour hour after hour into these huge games with no ending. But what they don’t realize is that these hours could be spent attaining something different, such as, working towards a goal or purpose in the physical world that would fulfill to the point where they wouldn’t need this online escape from reality. They could stay in the physical world and interact with real people and make real progress and rid themselves of their online addiction and become enthralled with the real world.
In our modern world that is essentially built around the internet, it is easy to get lost online with all of the games and ads. We must remember to pull our heads out of the clouds every now and then and hunt for our purpose in the physical world. Instead of staying content with the virtual rat race that a lot of people allow themselves to be content with. I’m not saying the internet’s bad, I’m saying that that we need to be careful with how closely we identify ourselves through internet. Once we find ourselves getting too close to that virtual world, we will start losing our social skills. That is when we’re going to find ourselves in trouble because without social interactions in person we then must ask ourselves if we are really human or are we just organic button pressing machines. So we must stay true to the physical world and find our purpose within it and then we’ll finally be on the right track.
Works Cited
Works Cited
Anderson, Sam. “In Defense of Distraction.” NYMag.com, Ny Mag, nymag.com/news/features/56793/.
Leonard, Andrew. “Rise of the Phone Zombies: What We Lose when Technology Gives Us Everything.” Salon, Salon.com, 8 Aug. 2014, www.salon.com/2014/08/08/rise_of_the_smartphone_zombies_what_we_lose_when_technology_gives_us_everything/.
Wasik, Bill. “The Mob Project.” BillWasik.com, 6 May 2009, billwasik.com/post/104403795/the-mob-project.
Marked Draft of a Paper
This is Mike and i’s Peer review of Sukis paper.
Lucas deMey
9/14/17
Emerson
Writing prompt 3 revision strategy
My revision strategy is fairly simple i noticed that most of the errors in my paper were surface errors things like missing punctuation, awkward word choice and run on sentences. The way i’m going to fix these issues is by going through sentence by sentence and reading it out loud to make sure i catch any of these pesky surface errors. I also think some of my paragraphs could use some trimming in order to make sure there’s no fluff to my paper. I also think i could better use waisks text in my paragraph about the bandwagon effect so i will reread “my crowd experiment to find quotes that will better back my claim sentence. Because the evidence i have as of now does not seem sufficient and with the trimming of fluff i may need this new evidence in order to meet the length requirement.
